Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the First button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face. Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!" A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. As the two men sit down, Hussein notices three buttons on Bush's chair and prepares himself for the Yank's revenge. They begin talking and Bush presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. George snickers. A few seconds later he presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter. When the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics. "Forget this," says Saddam. "I'm going back to Baghdad!" Dubya says through tears of laughter, "What Baghdad?"
Chelsea had the most exciting news. She burst into the room shouting, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news! Nick asked me to marry him. He is like the biggest hunk in Washington. We are supposed to get married next month. Bill took Chelsea in the back and said, "Chelsea, you're mother, although an ideal administrator and public speaker, has never had much to offer in the sack, so, as you might have heard, I have been known to fool around with other ladies on occassion. Your boyfriend Nick happens to be the product of one of my love making sessions. He is my son and thusly, he is your half-brother." Chelsea ran out of the office screaming, "Not another brother!" She rushed to her mother's side, telling her about her all about dad's shameful behavior and how every man she dated turns out to be one of her father's illegitimate sons. Hillary began to laugh and said, "Don't pay any attention to him. He isn't really your father anyway."
Little Johnny is a little boy who likes to dress up an play cowboy. An lil jonhny decided to get a sundae from the local Baskin and Robins."Hi how may I help you" asks the cashier. Lil Johnny whips out his guns points them at the cashier and says, "I'll have a Sundae lil lady". She then asks him if he wants chocolate fudge on it. " Yep " Johnny says as he reholsters his guns. Then she asked him if he wanted cherries and sprinkles on it. "Yep" he says as he tips his hat.Then she asked if he wanted nuts on his, with the obvious reply of "Yep". She then asked him if he wanted his nuts crushed, and with a lighting quick movement he pulls out his guns and points them at the cashier and yells, "Would you like your tits blown off!?".